Soundproof Fans!

There are two types of people in this world: Scum-fucking child-rearing McDonalds-chugging bastards of one-legged harpies, and Soundproof Fans. With dedication, understanding, and most likely a shitload of court-ordered restrictions, these folks understand the meaning of good music. This page is dedicated to them.

Although each and every one of our fans, listeners, and stalkers mean just as much to us as the rest of our fans, these special Soundproof Fans have gone above and beyond the call of duty. Check it out:

Fan-Made Womb Video Emerges

Many of you may have seen an ape-related snippet of this up on YouTube, but the full thing is way too awesome (read: graphic and disgusting) to be hosted on their site. Ladies and gentlemen, direct from Finland, here is the most awesome thing ever:

Whiic - Wombstretchin.wmv

(Right-Click, Save-As, Rock-Out)

Wow. Just fucking amazing!

Barely 18 Canadian Hotties Love Us! (Part II)

That's Lady Morbid, one of our biggest fans (and the feeling is very, very mutual). Keep your eyes out on all the "art" sites that are hot these days (SG,etc.) for her!

Barely 18 Canadian Hotties Love Us!

French Class Meyhem!

One worth-mentioning fan, who goes by "The Fragile" on online message boards, IM, etc., sent me this email about a week ago:

haha, I've already given two CDs out, and have more people to give them to (I could only carry two because of my shitload of books). I have an oral presentation in French tomorrow, and am doing it over Wombstretcha. I'm gonna play Soundproof Van until the teacher makes me stop, haha. Wombstretcha is somewhat of an urban legend around here right now. I've told tons of people, but not many know what it's all about. That will change soon, though . Best of luck, man.

... a few days later, I receive another email:

The presentation was great. I handed out stickers to all the kids (and teacher) in my class, and played soundproof van. I handed out a few CDs to people I thought would like it. The class loved the song, and thought that the presentation (basically talking about how womb kidnaps children, transmits AIDs, etc.) was hilarious. It went over really well and I think they were diggin womb. Hopefully, they'll follow my advice ("Stick those stickers on children, grandmothers, blind people, cars, etc.").

Oh, I got my music teacher to play Soundproof Van during class too. He didn't really care until "Put those bastards on my barbecue grill"

I asked him to describe the French presentation. This is where the word "priceless" comes in:

Hahaha, we had to do an oral presentation on any subject to improve our French skills, and he said he didn't care how outrageous the topic was, as long as we spoke no English. I had to take advantage of the opportunity and present some womb, haha. I never do shit in French, so my teacher was just happy that I did the assignment. He didn't give a fuck how inappropriate it was.

Here is my presentation, in raw form (missing a lot of accent marks and shit, because Word is to hard to put them in with):

Bonjour, mon nom est Chad et J’intend a décrire les chansons de l’etireur de matrices.
(Hello my name is Chad and I intend to describe the songs of Wombstretcha)

L’etireur de matrices est un musicien dans le genre de “horror core”.
(Wombstretcha is a musician in the genre of Horror Core)

“Horror Core” est un genre de musique cet existe seulement en Amerique.
(Horror Core is a genre of music that only exists in America)

Le base de le musique de l’etireur de matrices est les utérus frappe et enlever des enfants.
(The basis of Wombstretcha’s music is uterus punching and child abduction)

L’etireur de matrices enleve des enfants dans un camionnette insonoriser
(Wombstretcha takes children in a soundproof van)

L’etireur de matrices utilise un faux moustache quand il enleve des enfants.
(Wombstretcha wears a fake mustache when he abducts children)

Permettez-moi a lisez-vous des paroles de l’etireur de les matrice.
(Allow me to read some Wombstretcha lyrics)

“Les enfants, quand je dis “Je l’adore””
(Children, when I say “I love em”)

“Ne signife pas je veux a les empoigne et les serre dans mes bras”
(Doesn’t mean I want to grab em and hug em)

J’ai un chanson de l’etireur de matrices avec moi.
(I have a Wombstretcha song with me)

Est-ce que, ecrivez vous un chanson, maintenant?
(Will you listen to the song, now?)

If Yes
Superb!
(Great!)

*Play Song*

If No
vous sont serieux?
(Are you serious?)

L’etireur de matrices a un ami qui s’appelle règlementaire(statutaire) Ray
(Wombstretcha has a friend named Statutory Ray)

Statutaire Ray utilise un faux moustache quand il enleve des enfants, aussi.
(Statutory Ray wears a fake mustache when he abducts children, too.

D’abord, l’entireur de matrices et Statutaire Ray a concouru pour les enfants, mais ils commence coopérer.
(At first, Wombstretcha and Statutory Ray would compete for children, but they started to work together)

Avant ils cooperer, Statutaire Ray ferait enlever des enfants de l’etireur de matrices et l’etireur de matrices ferait dit “Tu as besoin de baisse cet enfant!”
(Before they started to work together, Statutory Ray would take Wombstretcha’s Children, and Wombstretcha would say, “You better drop that child!”)

L’etireur de matrices ne viol pas les enfants, il fait simplement muerte les enfants.
(Wombstretcha does NOT rape the children, he simply kills the children)

L’etireur de matrices transmet le AIDS aussi.
(Wombstretcha transmits AIDs, also)

Please notice that the presentation was VERY basic, mostly because I am not that good at French, so I couldn't say hard shit. BTW, there is no REAL word for stretcher in French, so my teacher gave me a likely word (tirer = to tear/to stretch, tireur = stretcher). All in all, I was pretty satisfied with the presentation, and I wish there was some way to prove that it actually existed.

My class loved it. One of my friend's started one of those slow-clap standing ovation things. The best part is that I know some of them are going to tell their friends how ridiculous the presentation was, spreading the word without knowing it. And aslo, now that I gave them stickers, the Deans have no way to blame the stickers posted around school on me, haha. I suck at French, so it took forever to translate the presentation. I'm just glad I could present on something I knew something about instead of shit like Chemistry or Calculus

... amazing.

Alfresco Kitchen Staff Own

Wombstretcha's hypeman Statutory Ray mentioned a place called the "Alfresco Cafe in Janesville" during his verse in "Jus Busin." We found out that not only do the people at the Alfresco know of us, but, well... I'll just let you see what one ultra-cool cook did. Big thanks to "Nosferatu" for this one:

Holy fuck. To say that we "owe" this guy would be an understatement.

Dizeez & Siknezz

See the banner for Shattered Skulls Records to your right? Well, much like a younger more Juggalo'd out version of Sanity and Kronik, Dizeez and Siknezz go by too many goddamn nicknames to keep track of. One of them (aka Siknezz) goes by Bobby Saylor in real life, and he's one hell of an artist. So much so that he independently contributed the following pics to his myspace page and other websites. Amazing! Make sure to hit up SS Record's site before checking out this bad ass fan art:

All artwork by Bobby Saylor. Fuckin' Awesome!

More Fans

The fun doesn't stop with billboards, homework, and art.

Due thanks and props go out to Soundproof Stan for going through hell to put together an official MySpace page for Wombstretcha. As a result, he has been kicked into the "band" as an honorary organ player. Watch out for Stan at concerts and Womb-related events!

Jason at Knockout Zone, without being asked, has been promoting Wombstretcha left and right to his friends, family, and website visitors. We don't even know this guy, yet he's out there spreading our message. Props and then some to Jason!

If you have done something to deserve recogntion, be sure to email us and we'll add you to the list of Soundproof Fans. Statutory Ray would like to personally thank each and every one of you for being so fucking cool and supporting the cause. Wombstretcha, however, would like to thank no one. Wombstretcha don't need you. Wombstretcha don't need anybody.