If You Build It . . .
Once again, we make the public plea to join us in informing unknowing minds of the cause. This time, however, the bottom line is simple: Tell People About Our Music. We aren't asking anyone to buy anything or promote any concerts or any shit like that... All we're asking is that you turn people on to the Sounds of Womb in any way you see fit.
Ways you can help:
Add Us As a Friend on that filthy, disgusting networking site Myspace. Tell your friends to do the same thing, especially if they are teenage and female.
Pass out our music to your buddies. Because we love you so much, we have opened up access to some of our catalogue for use in a 'Greatest Hits' type of compilation. You may download the zip file here, and then you can burn it using CDs, iPods, rolling papers, or churches:
Womb's Greatest Shit, Ver 2.0
 Right-Click, Save-As, Get-Funky!
So there you have it. Be friends with us, get your friends to be friends with us, and burn as many CDs as your mamma's wallet allows for. Spread the Wombs! By doing these things, you will develop those traits in your personality that will enable people to like you, believe you, and trust you.
 - 1HRx.com Staff
P.S., make sure you check out the most recent edition of Willy Week's Letters to the Editor:
2008-08-24
DJ HazMatt / Ray Found?
Well, it's somewhat official: DJ HazMatt, aka Statutory Ray, is alive. However, his whereabouts are still unknown. 1HRx.com staff received the following wire-transmitted message early this morning:
Hey guys, it's Ray. I know you've all been scared shitless for me, and I thank you. But the reality is simple. My 80s mixtape was unable to be completed without authenticity, so I built myself a time machine out of 'spare' parts obtained from a 'found' tricycle and traveled back in time to 1989. There, I got a job at a neon-lit dance club, and was able to use their equipment to finish my awesome 80's mashup album. Enjoy!
P.S., I fucked up the dials on the way back, so I'm currently stuck in 2023. Prostitution is legal here, but I think I've caught an STD that doesn't even exist in 2008, so it is likely that I will develop serious health problems upon my return. See you at Ash St on Friday!
... included with the transmission was the following:
All of Your Beats Are Belong to Us
Volume 1
Right-Click and Save-As:
01 - Taste the Journey.mp3
02 - Statutory Ray Parker Jr.mp3
03 - Every Word You Speak.mp3
04 - Gary Busin.mp3
05 - Love is a Kick.mp3
06 - Love Bunnies.mp3
07 - Walk the Caveman.mp3
08 - Poach Yo Shades.mp3
09 - Send Me a Face Full.mp3
10 - Fucking Never.mp3
Will DJ HazMatt aka Statutory Ray make it back on time for Friday's Show? Better show up to see!
- 1HRx.com Staff
2008-08-14
Anyone seen Statutory Ray/ DJ Hazmat?
Ok, so, this may seem a bit odd, but has anyone seen Statutory Ray/DJ Hazmatt?
See, we was all gonna meet up and eat some fuckin' pancakes, then go see if we could find enough money in various couch cushions to get Ernie Hudson to appear at our next show. However, nobody appeared fo breffast!
I wasn't too concerned, but it's very much unlike Ray to skip out on anything involving pancakes and bacon, plus I needed the keys to his by-the-week room at the Motel 6 so I could dig for change and unbolt the TV from the cabinet and hawk it.
So I sent out a Ray.P.B. to the rest of the crew.
Ogre hadn't seen jack, and was on some kind of a vision quest (which I think involves bathing in Listerine and playing GTA) which precluded any helpful hints.
DJ House Party III, aka DJ Red Five was busy filling water balloons with mayo and hurling them off a high-rise parking structure and waving a condenser mic around to "capture some great sounds to mix in with these loops." He also wasn't much help.
The moustache girls were busy waxing eachothers' vaginas and eating Spanish omelettes (among other things) and couldn't be bothered. Ray might have been there, but I didn't hear any verbal abuse in the background, so it is unlikely.
Go-Go Gorilla seems to have spotted him, but it's hard to tell when you're trying to deal with a gorilla that DOES NOT know sign language and thinks that Koko is a "mark-ass busta" for learning. That was one hell of a fingerpainting session figuring that out...
I think based on this latest painting, Go-Go believes him to be in Pennsylvania, but you be the judge.
Heavy Johnson was in jail as the result of a heated argument with some bar patrons about Megadeth, and we can't afford to bail him out for the third time this week on metal-related face-punchings. Suffice it to say, unless Ray was in jail with him (always possible) he would not be of much help.
So now I turn to you, the Internet person(?) to help me out. If you've seen Ray/Hazmatt, send us here some sort of message.
Also, if you're in Pennsylvania, keep your eyes open.
Ernie Hudson don't work for free.
Str8 ^, people.
-W
2008-08-09
And ONCE Again . . .
HazMatt got called into work on the date he's supposed to put up the mixtape, so expect the majority of it after his shift around 2am.
- 1HRx.com Staff
2008-08-08
Guess What We Got? We Got APE!
Okay, so after months of delay, we finally have it in our hands...
That's right! The Ape Rape Val-U Pack is not only here, but we have a major announcement:
With the help of artist Don Rosencrans, Womb and Ray created a comic book based off of a song originally released on B-Sides and Miscarriages (So I Stole a Ape). In the process, the duo decided to re-record a "single version" to accompany the comic, along with two remixes and the "original" b-sides single.
However, this was not enough.
What's the big announcement? Well, you've really gotta purchase the package to get the entire gist, but in summary, Womb and Ray are the first people ever to record a comic-book-on-tape. Put the CD in your player, turn it to track five, and your comic book will come alive! Tales From the Womb, Vol 1, read to you personally by Womb, Ray, and a cast of others. Correct us if we are wrong, but I believe this is a world-wide first! Again, the CD Single that accompanies the comic not only includes four versions of the song, but also a comic book on tape, baby! Pioneers and shit.
If you haven't already picked it up, do so:
Next week, you will be introduced to Trilly and Illy (the Moustache Girls), hear one of several brand-new mixtape supreme tracks, and of course, 8/8/8 marks DJ HazMatt's first mashtape in over a year. Stay tuned.
- 1HRx.Com Staff
2008-08-01
Amy Don't Even Know
+
=
... wow. The awesome people at the Willamette Week's music department asked Womb and Ray to write a tribute song to departing music editor Amy McCulloch. Now the second "Stan" ripoff on Mixtape Supreme, you can download the track here. Why not from our site? Because we want the link to get hits, that's why :)
Mixtape Supreme,
Track 13 - Amy Don't Even Know.mp3 (click here for link)
- E.S., 1HRx CEO
2008-07-24
Motherfuckin Update
We are still waiting on pics and video from last Tuesday's show, but for now, we have some pretty major update fodder. Load up the crack pipe and scroll down as we introduce the new band, drop some mixtape knowledge, and announce an upcoming show...
The Band Expands
Back in the day, Wombstretcha the Magnificent consisted of vocalist Wombstretcha, producer/emcee Statutory Ray, and E.M.C., the fill-in female vocalist. Over the years, several new faces have emerged. Some have remained, others failing to make the cut. As the dust settles, we are left with Womb, Ray, E.M.C. (for recording, she rarely does live shit these days) and...
DJ House Party 3
Straight outta the Side Door comes DJ House Party 3 aka DJ Red 5. The band needed an opener for the Red Room show, and cancelers Love Meter sent DJ Red 5 to open up. After meshing like a stripper's top, Red 5, Womb, and Ray joined forces. Red 5 was renamed House Party 3 and the rest is history.
Spinning everything from video game breaks to Shaq, DJ House Party 3 adds a much-needed hip-hop feel to the live experience. Expect to hear more from our DJ on future albums and during live shows.
Heavy Johnson
There is metal, and then there is metal. Heavy Johnson is a third step higher: motherfucking metal. Heavy Johnson laid down riffs for Startin' Floods (Kiss Me Where I Pee) as well as R.F.G. (Pac-Man vs DK), but he is best known for his improv live solos performed completely on the fly. In addition to his already-recorded hits, Heavy Johnson adds new flavor to old songs (such as Soundproof Van). Make sure you catch the next live show to witness a legend in the making.
Go-Go Gorilla
Wombstretcha's b-side single So I Stole a Ape has spurred a comic book, a myspace homepage, and even live appearances by Go-Go Gorilla, the ape that was trained to rape! So far, multiple bodies have inhabited the ape suit, but the song remains the same. Known for attacking unsuspecting live crowds at a moment's notice, Go-Go Gorilla is somewhat of an enigma. Will Womb and Ray ever learn to control the ape, or will Go-Go be destined to violate audience members? Only time will tell...
More Members
... still waiting for pics, but we will be introducing you to the moustache girls Trilly and Illy later on this week. Yes, we have *regular dancers* who will be appearing at more than one show. Crazy, huh?
Mixtape Updates
Remember Mixtape Supreme? A collaboration of bullshit and random tracks from here-and-there, it's not really a mixtape but a collection of b-sides and remixes. Fortunately, shit's been happening with at the studio and you can expect the following tracks to emerge starting next week:
Amy Don't Know (yet another "Stan" parody)
Bacon Gets Taken (promotional for underground EP)
... plus collaborations with Killfuck, Puppet Mazter, Illicit Minds, Big Sick, and more! The internet will never be the same. Stick around for those bombs
Then, it's coming...
Statutory Ray will taking over once again as DJ HazMatt, mashmaster extraordinaire, bringing you an all-80s mixtape release. The rules for sampling are simple, yet interesting:
*No additional beats or sounds are to be added; Looping and mixing only.
*The chorus for the original song must remain the same.
*Three rap verses will be spit in place of regular song verses.
Considering that it is a free online release, mixtape style, HazMatt will be bringing the please-sue-us vibe once again, sampling such hits as:
Sunglasses at Night
Relax
Walk the Dinosaur
Love Shack
Obsession
Love is a Battlefield
Ghostbusters
Send me an Angel
Summer of 69
Eye of the Tiger
Every Breath You Take
I Ran (So Far Away)
... and more
Actual determined no-bullshit release date for this comp is 8/8/8, free exclusively at Wombstretcha.com!
Upcoming Show
CLICK FOR PRINT-ABLE VERSION
Headlining downtown at Ash Street Saloon, Wombstretcha will be playing a show with local ska-punk-rap legends Raise the Bridges as well as Sauce Policy, who many of you remember from LocalCut's Band Name of the Week chronicles. RTB asked Womb to headline, so make sure you show up early and show love to the guys for putting us on! Cost not yet determined, but it's safe to say that it will be low-dough and worth every penny.
Now, here's Bob with weather.
- Eugene Springfield, 1HRx C.E.O.
2008-07-19
You All Missed One Hell of a Show
... and the update will prove it. Fucking tired for now, but in short:
*Huge thanks to Ikonoklast, Ghost Motor, and S1nd1cate
*Huge thanks to DJ House Party Three - sorry bout the tech fuckups
*Huge thanks to Heavy Johnson
*Huge thanks to Joe Hoffman
*Huge thanks to Chris, Ethan, Ogre, Jessica, et al
*HUGE thanks (last but most importantly) to Trilly and Illy
See you all August 15th @ Ash St
-Statutory Ray
2008-07-16
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